Well the last few weeks have been a struggle. Ive gone through many emotions a few different drs and hospitals. The news on all fronts have not been great and ive not been feeling great on top of that. Basically life seems a viscious circle in many ways. The seizures cause joint pain, headaches and stress of family, friends and in turn make things difficult. I want to do things but I get limited by people thinking they know what is best for me when in fact they are making life worse… more stressful because I still want to try being “normal” whataever that is. Its not like i want to be like everyone else… thats never been my style However I want to live life, Enjoy what I can. Yes sometimes I push things to the limit but life is for adventure and for living. Not sitting on the sidelines wondering what is out there. Ive also been having worse cluster headaches. I haven’t spoken about cluster headaches much in this blog I know but yes I have cluster headaches too. Diagnosed when i was sitting with my epilepsy consultant one time and my Dr asked me some (what I thought) odd questions on my next appointment after reading my hospital notes. I answered them and bang – another diagnosis, lot of pills and other things to learn/ understand. Well i’ve been reasonably coping until recently. My episodic clusters have turned into chronic meaning they are several times a day. This does not help the seizures either.
We have also found that my seizures occur when i’m in pain and my oxygen levels drop – hence alot of the time im hooked up to oxygen trying to quench a headache and stop seizures. Sometimes it works – sometimes it doesn’t. Either way its another thing in the way of life. Ive not had a seizure free day (grandmal becasue I dont really count the absence ones) in 5 weeks. Before this I maybe got one ever 2 weeks. Im getting tired now, my joints are suffering badly and Ive damaged my neck. Im now at the stage where Ive got some things in order and now its time to fight or run and damn the consequences. Im not going to run im going to fight for as long as I can and for as hard as I can.
Fight for fun
Fight for life
Fight for a seizure free day
Fight for a pain free Day
Fight for epilepsy awareness.
Im waiting for an appointment go go back to london for more treatment of some sort – we dont know what yet. I know surgery is not an option unless they find something new as my seizure focus (where the epilepsy is and starts) is no longer in just one side of the brain but both. its not just in the one lobe anymore but in 3. time will tell but for now I dont know what the answer is.
A poem edited for epilepsy:
“What Epilepsy Cannot Do”
Epilepsy is so limited…
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Spirit.
Even if just for a moment it does any of the things above… epilepsy and everything else will not win I have epilepsy – it does NOT have me.It is not Who I am – it is only part of me. I am not defined by it – i dont want to be.If I die tomorrow I want to be remembered as the bubbly crazy wacky purple, glittery disney loving girl who was fighting for epilepsy awareness. Fighting for funding for people to help find the cure we all need. I want to leave my mark on the world. Help and inspire people – that is my wish.
Night night. xxx
Planning Ahead.
So a couple of posts ago I spoke about my wish not to be resuscitated if anything should happen to me in a seizure. Well the deed is done so to speak. I have made my advanced directive and am working through making a will which also includes writing letters to people to read when i’m gone which to me seemed a bit weird but im doing it…. its hard and almost have no idea what to say… do i add jokes or do i make it all sombre? well if you know me you will no that yes i’ve added jokes!.
Being that Im so young and the situation would be an emergency It would be very unlikely in an emergency situation that a paramedic would know what not to do. By contacting legal advice I have been given a card to cary… it looks like a credit card but says ive an advanced directive. The card came from the same people who are helping me make a will and finalise any other details with regards to what I would like to happen. For example my funeral. (oh what a happy blog this is ha ha)
It is difficult and emotional but its the right thing to do. I want to make my own decisions and i want to be prepared. I do not want to end up like a cabbage.
I spoke with a friend the other day only briefly but enough to make me think i was definitely doing the right thing. It helped to say it out loud I guess… I explained that I didnt want to be in a useless body with a sound mind, or the other way round. I know that many people do not get the choice (those born with disabilities) however as my friend pointed out… They dont know any different. I will. I will know about the life that I could have had or I will know that its hard on the people who would have to look after me like my mum. I would know all these things and not be able to do anything about it.
That is the difference and that is what I could not bare. Now see me as a coward if you will but Id rather not be resuscitated.
Lots of people have said im brave. or its a brave decision. I dont think so. I think its the right decision, a difficult decision that has not been taken lightly. Yes ive had sleepless nights, ive had nightmares of what could happen and ive woken up and sat bolt upright thinking that i have to do this to stop my worst fear from coming true. I guess its scary but life is always scary but for different reasons for different people.
Dont think im giving up on life though because im not. I will neaver willingly give up my fight. Every day i cherish, every minute of seizure free activity is a bonus and every minute off oxygen makes me feel free.
Life is amazing but I must plan for the future.
In Memory Of Anthony David King
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| Anthony David King 24/07/1981 – 29/01/2004 |
This is a sad post. Today is the birthday of a lovely young man Called Anthony David King.
In his life Anthony was a happy baby, a happy boy, his epilepsy started age 10 months old. It took a long time to get his seizures under control but with the support of his family he finally gained that control. When Anthony was 18 he like most people wanted to do what his friends were doing. He started going out with his friends, playing snooker and having a drink. He also stopped taking his medication*. Anythony came home one night and went to bed at 3am on the morning of January 29th 2004… 9am the next morning his mother found him dead. It was the worst time of her life. Its the worst thing for any parent. No parent should have to attend their childs funeral.
Anthony shouldn’t have stopped his medication, neither should he have probably been drinking but he was young. His life like any young person was about testing boundaries, having fun. I know I have before. The point is that no -one should have to deal with the struggles of life that epilepsy brings.
At the age of 23 Anthony had the world in front of him. Opportunities, jobs, relationships, fun and everything young life holds. Sadly on 29th January 2004 Anthony was killed by a seizure. Epilepsy is very misunderstood. People think it cannot kill. IT CAN! Young people should be allowed to live their life, have fun. not be restricted by this horrible condition epilepsy! Sadly Anthony is no longer with us to do the things he loved however his spirit will live on in his mum,sister and older brother.
This blog is nothing more than a tribute to the life Anthony led up until the beast took his life.
This is a tribute to the many hearts and lives Anthony touched. He left his footprints on this world, and continues to do so through his mum. Now he is with the angels in heaven saving the best seats for his mum Kay, sister Jo and brother Michael.
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| Anthonys Grave, lovingly tendered by his mum Kay King. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANTHONY |
This post is for you Anthony In memory of you, your life and the love and spirit you left behind.
Happy Birthday from Your mum, Sister ,brother & family & happy birthday from me Jo at the epilepsy rollercoaster.
I will be doing all in my power to raise awareness of epilepsy for as long as I am allowed on this earth.
R.I.P Anthony
xxx
(*please consult a dr before stopping any medication).
Stop and smell the roses !
Stop & Smell the roses, It’s Not a Competition
Throughout our childhood, there is a strong focus on being the best at everything. mostley this comes from our parents ans peers who although they only mean to encourage, they create this thing where a person feels they need to be the best in sports – being picked first and being picked for the school teams. The best in class – getting the best grades; the best report card; the best places at the best universities. The best phone; iPod; clothes. The most popular. The most likely to succeed. I could go on… My point is, there is a distinct emphasis on where you were/are placed in a imaginary or physical league table of your peers.
As we grow up into ‘mature’ adults… And leave the world of compulsory education, we unfortunately continue this obsession of how we are comparing to another.
For those of us with disability or chronic illness, comparing ourselves to our able-bodied friends can be seriously detrimental, making us depressed and feel worse.
So-and-so from high school just bought his first house.
Whatshername from university has just been awarded her PhD.
The guy down the road, he’s making 60K a year.
John and Jane from college are married, two kids, and are going on holiday to Australia.
Need I go on? I’m certain if your reading this as someone with a chronic illness you’ve said similar to yourself.
I’m certain you have replies to all of those sayings too. You haven’t been on holiday in years. Living in rented accommodation or with your parents! . You barely making ends meet, or living on benefits.
But listen to me…. life is NOT a competition.
The people we relentlessly compare our ‘failing’ lives to don’t have to live with these life-changing/ life limiting illnesses. You are a SURVIVOR, and have lived through experiences they couldn’t even dream of in their worst nightmare!. You have the ability to help and support others in similar situations – no amount of education, or money, or fancy plasma TV screens can mimic that. You have knowledge of the health system, of treatments and hospitals, doctors and health professionals. All of your experiences are USEFUL, and while we may wish we didn’t have that pleasure, we can turn around the negative and use it for positive.
While you may see better things in their world than your own, jealousy is an ugly and unhelpful thing. Instead, why not use these feelings to try and improve your own situation – IF you are well enough. So you can’t do this and that but we live in a world of computers and social media ! If someone told me 5 years ago that I would be a world wide advocate for epilepsy awareness I would have told you ,your mad. Yet here I am less than a year on from when I started speaking out about epilepsy, My epilepsy, sharing my life with you all. Before this I was scared, tired, upset and felt worthless. I resented epilepsy for taking everything away from me. Now although I’m still not happy (I mean who would be) about my situation but I have my own blog. YouTube channel, Instagram and all the other social media things. I’ve abseiled, started a lantern ceremony, celebrated purple day, raised over £720 in 4 months, been in the newspaper and am about to get published in a worldwide magazine… All in this short time. You have the power to show people life shouldn’t be taken for granted- the more people realise this the more people will enjoy the simple things in life like we do… Like I do.
I appreciate being able to get up and out of bed, I appreciate every part of life when I’m conscious and able to see it, I appreciate being able to have a bath, I appreciate when I don’t have to take all my pain killers, or don’t have to be on oxygen, that all to me is freedom. There are so many things I appreciate that I know everyone else takes for granted and I tell you something, I feel I am more empowered to go forward in life: no matter how far I get in life.
Living your life thinking you are failing in comparison to others around you, will ONLY set you up to fail. CHANGE your way of thinking. Challenge instead of competition – challenge yourself to improve what you have, but ultimately you need to love the life you live.
A good friend of mine told me that life is different for everyone and i was given this life by god because he knew i have the strength to cope with it. Coping with illness and pain takes a lot of daily effort. Just as much – if not more than being in full time work or being a mum or anything anyone else is doing. It’s just a different strength.
Life is not a competition or a race. Life is for enjoying, exploring and experiencing. The more you compete – the more of life you will miss. Go slower stop and smell the roses and enjoy the small things.
If i die young.
Ok im not going to be depressing or dramatic here. Yes ive had some really down days… Life has been difficult but im ok. Things wont change but i have them all in my head into their little neat spaces instead of making my head muddled and a mess.
I was asked to do another video by so many people. I didnt know where to start. I began with a song a jessie J number.
I then went away on holiday to see my best friend for a week, I had such an amazing time. During that time though my world changed that little bit more and epilepsy took a little bit more from me. I ended up in hospital as you know from my previous blogs and then when I came home i was again in hospital some more.
During this time I was told by drs that with the amount of seizures Im having and the amount of times im suffering from status epilepticus where I have repeated seizures without regaining consciousness and where my breathing changes and stops on occasions my future is not looking good. my future may hold brain damage and death if this continues. Luckily so far Ive escaped with only slight blurry left eye. I was also told my epilepsy is no longer limited to starting in my temporal and occipital lobe on the left but has now spread and is on both sides of my brain. Surgery is not a viable option as this would also cause brain damage.
Depressed, upset and at a turning part in my life I looked through some songs and found this one. (if i die young) It seemed to fit what i had just been told.
Im not being depressive about all of this but it is the harsh truth. So many people think epilepsy is just a condition where you take a pill and no more seizures …. If only it were that easy for us all.
Mothers and fathers have lost sons and daughters to epilepsy, Ive lost good friends. The truth is that epilepsy kills over 1000 people in the UK alone every year.
More awareness needs to be raised and this is my wish and goal to do so. I love life and love my friends and family who help me when im struggling. Im still the happy bubbly person I normally am… I do have my down days but most of the time im still happy and enjoying life.
This video is just to make you think a bit more about how precious life is… it is not to be taken for granted.
I hope you like the video and it raises a few questions of your own.
Love you all guys. Please leave comments if you like. its nice to know who is reading this… I just get a counter thing telling me people are here otherwise which is a bit boring. Would be lovely to hear some of your stories too.
Love you all and remember Just keep swimming.
More Stress
Today is monday. I find out that when mum was shouting about how ill she had been sitting worrying about me yesterday whilst I was at the concert she was actually out visiting a friend and shopping!
Not much I can say about that is it…. however all that guilt i was feeling and being upset was for nothing!. Im pretty cross that she obviously lied – If there is something I do not do is lie to her… I cant lie i always end up laughing infront the person anyway or giving the game away but to lie to me about that so I would feel guilty about going out? thats not right.
Well We agreed a truths yesterday so Im not going to say anything – inside though im saddened.
The arguments are starting up about band tonight now… if its not one thing its another. I went to go down to my studio but then got told no… when questioned i got the well i will have to come down there ! this was not the idea… I have a buzzer system for down there so why is that suddenly not useful? basically I cant do anything unless she is watching – i am going mad.
Anyway I went to band and despite a struggle I managed it.
I will say im suffering for it a bit today but I have also been to the dentist today to have my “real” tooth put in rather than the temporary ! (remember a few blogs before my holiday when I smashed tooth during seizure). anyway nice new shinny tooth now in. it was a bit of a trauma though so no surprising my head aches.
I will leave you with this poem.
A friend like me.
Please don’t be afraid of me
I want to be your friend.
and if you get to know me
your rigid thoughts might bend
Thoughts that i am different
from others that you know.
I really am no different
and this id like to show.
I live and breathe and laugh and cry
i love to play and learn .
I sometimes do things differently
which can cause some concern.
You see, some say I’m special,
i guess this much is true
but if you were to ask me
i’d say your special too.
We’re all little different
no two are just the same.
Its really something wonderful
there is no one to blame
When things don’t go perfectly
and people get confused
they say things like “poor girl”
and other terms they use.
Its ok if you look at me
and may not understand.
Its ok if you touch me
and even hold my hand
My like has many obsticals
More than the epilepsy that you know
but thats not what i dwell on
Im me, thats all and so….
I know that things may not
always go to plan you see
Sometimes i may fall down
but I’m not just the beast you see
Please don’t be afraid of me
or tell me not to do
the things that make me feel normal
and make life worth living so…
Please learn to be accepting
i want you just to see
how truly great and wonderful
a friend like me can be.
Ruling my life
I am sick and tired of people trying to rule my life. If i dont have enough issues without not being able to make any decisions without them being contested at every point.
So yes I went to the ball last night…. I felt a bit like cinderella when the beast came out at midnight ha ha (it wasn’t midnight) but you know what i mean.
I now find out that apparently mum was so cross last night cos when pauline came to the door she said “she’s fitting, she’s fitting!” mum was rushing about getting her coat and bag thinking she was coming to get me and then i was there… i wasn’t fitting i had had one fit , one seizure. i was ok and i was home. Slightly dramatic in the way pauline started her introduction had mum on even higher alert!
I was so told off last night I felt like a little child. This morning no different. I was getting more than the third degree. I have a gig to play at this afternoon (sunday) and I am going, Yes ok my tolerance without oxygen at the mo is incredibly bad, bout half our to an hour at the most but today its been basically non. Had to have oxygen in all day. Well obviously mums not happy bout me playing at a concert blowing into a flute but you know what I want to give it a go. I dont even know if i can play with oxygen but if i can without effects I will. If not its a lovely sunny day and I can sit and watch the rest of the band. Its not the end of the world. I will deal. I do not want to be cooped up in doors on this lovely day with mum moaning on about me and life and how I should be more careful.
CAREFUL ! ! well how careful can you be with epilepsy ? it is unpredictable… you never know when the next seizure will strike. The only way i can be 100% careful is if what? i stay in bed and dont bother moving? that way i wont hurt myself (oh but then again i may suffocate myself on the pillows!) there is no 100% way to be careful with epilepsy. Its unpredictable seizures that strike you down at any time.
Without putting everything in life on hold which is ridiculous and like i told her i may as well be dead anyway then …. I just need to live.
Well I tried to talk to her. after all she is my friend as well as my mum. We normally have a ok relationship and are pretty close. I started to talk to her and try and get her to see it from my point but all I got was shouting about all I am doing is thinking of myself and Im being reckless and stupid and pushing it. Im not pushing it im just trying to live while I can i said. from this i got “well you wont be living vey long at this rate… your going to kill yourself” !
Well what can you say to statements like these!.
I was really upset that she couldnt see it from my point of view.
I put across that just let me finnish what i want to say..
When you were my age you were travelling all over the UK. You were married, had a job and a life.
now look at me. My partner who I was going to spend the rest of my life with left me because epilepsy became to much trouble to understand and he was a nurse! my next partner couldnt understand I couldn’t travel all round the world cos i couldn’t afford insurance and taking all my meds means alot more preparation than oh lets go here tomorrow.
Im a fully qualified nurse who has given up her pin number because she can not pass the occupational health assessments (not to mention I had just been accepted to my dream job in nursing! )
I have been stuck at home since being taken into intensive care where I nearly died.
Ive basically lost the sight out of one eye and live in a constant un-knowing of when the next seizure will strike.
You lived your young life with nothing hanging over you. You never had to worry that your body would let you down. You never went into hospital… Ive been in and out of hospitals since I was 4 years old. You see it from a mothers view, you wont even try to see it from mine.
I do not want my life to be “Just” full of hospitals, pills, injections, oxygen and all the other medical stuff. I want to have the good bits too. I can see it from your point but you need to see it from my point.
If I die tomorrow I want to die with no regrets that I wish i’d done that or this. I want to do what I like and love while I can, when I can. I have no way of knowing what the future will bring but while I can do things I will.
Anyway I went to the concert and I managed to play with oxygen. It went really well and i enjoyed it.
When i got home though I had another argument as mum and dad started moaning a me.
I was being told how much i was hurting them – they could not even see how much they were hurting me more than they could know. I couldn’t bare no more. Im not allowed to go anywhere on my own.. haven’t since being in ITU the first time as Drs say its not safe. Despite this I got dressed grabed my portable oxygen and ipad and went out …. Im not saying where I went cos its my place to get away. Im not normally like this I have only once done this before in the last 4 years I need to be with someone 24/7. However this really was a get out or go mad situation. I was so so upset that they would not even try to see it from my point of view. I just sat and cried for a long time. I then reached out to a really good friend. Amongst this mum text me and did in her words did say sorry. I waited for a while before I went home though… I was actually enjoying the being on my own thing. it was nice to be alone. The sun was setting and it was beautiful, still and quiet.
I came home exhausted though. I went to bed.
Hospital again.
Saturday morning I woke up and the pain was yet again intense. I went straight into multiple seizures.
Drs say that Status epilepticus is the most dangerous state for epilepsy sufferes. It takes so many lives. A person with epilepsy may experiance this once or twice in their lifetime with the disease… So far Ive been in status over 20 times and now 3 times in 3 days. life is getting scary.
I ended up having the paramedic and ambulance out and remember waking up with a IV line in which is very unusual as people normally cant get a line in. I was in and out of seizures for over an hour and I woke up in Kent and Canterbury hospital. It felt safer to be at home hospital though. somehow I cant explain. When the seizures stopped I was taken to a ward and had to wait to make sure the meds were working. I was given lots of extra meds and then claire and her dad came to get us to bring us home.
I was supoesto do a gig that morning but obviousley had to cancel. However it was the ball tonight and I was not going to not go. I had determined face on! My friends were down and I had the dress, the tickets and the will power I was going to go.
My best friend Lara came round early and helped me get ready, she managed to turn my palor complection into a 1900’s lady! without her doing my hair and makeup i really dont think i would have got there it was exhausting and i wasnt doing anything. We were all ready I couldnt wear my heels as i was having issues anyway but my dress was so long no one could see my sandal flats ha ha.
We went to the ball and had a fab time… I done some dancing with mark and the girls and we all had a good time. we even had official pics taken. The night went on and i started getting hotter than normal. My eye kept watering. We had just been given an award for best costume and i needed to sit down.
I went and tried to find a seat, feeling weak and wobbly my head was pounding and i was all a bit blurred. I can remember Abi saying lets go outside and I felt cooler. I thought i started to recover a little and then that little sensation that I dread. I woke up on the grass. I can remember being told to squeeze hands and I think i did. i hope i did. Claire had honed pauline as arranged and we managed to get home. I knew I was in for trouble and I was right. That night when I got home and everyone had gone all hell broke loose and I was in so so much trouble. I just wanted to enjoy myself. I got the “you could have killed yourself for pushing it” well maybe i could but then If i dont do things im stuck indoors and then what is the point of living? none. Id rather die doing something I enjoy and love.
Home & drs.
I woke up friday morning with the most painful headache once again. My body ached from all the seizures and I was in and out of consciousness alot. I dosed up on medication and managed to get dressed and downstairs. I didn’t know but mum had asked the taxi driver to come earlier to get me home and he did. He was there at 11am.
I didn’t want to go but I did. I wanted to be around my own hospitals and Drs because I knew i was in trouble. The pain was so bad I was literally crying like a baby… it rarely makes me cry as ive a huge pain tolerance. I said goodbye to linda which was horrible, I love her like my sister and we have become so close… i hated to leave on this note where i couldn’t say or articulate words properly. I got in the taxi, surrounded by my pillows and slept as much as i could as that was the only time the pain was at ease… I say slept yet you never really “sleep” when in cluster phase… I was half awake and could hear a few things and could feel the pain but had almost put myself in a coma state to make the pain less (if this makes sense – cluster heads will understand).
We arrived home and all i wanted was to get my pussycat magick back from cattery.
I was still in so much pain but wanted to make sure magick was ok first. We went to the cattery.. i called his name and I was surprised he jumped up immediately and came to the door and started meowing… in fact he was constantly meowing until i gave him a cuddle… it was the perfect reunion.
On the way home I said to mum, I think I need to go to the drs.. We dropped magick off and got him settled and went to the drs (injections in hand) although given them mum has not been trained to administer and I was in too much pain to focus and hold a steady hand. we got to the drs but I collapsed in the waiting area and had a seizure. I was taken to a room and I had several seizures within the 3 hour time span we were there. My own dr was there (not that I knew at the time) but she was happy she had seen what happens as had not ever seen seizure and cluster headache before. (great dr i have!!!).
I was given an injection but it didnt work so the dr gave me morphine. I was still having seizures but when the meds kicked in they slowed. i started regaining consciousness in between and i managed to sit up. we got home somehow.
Great times and bad times
The morning of Jades Prom arrived. We had fat club in the morning (well I was visiting with Linda and Jade – before I get any of you curse me for trying to loose weight – IM NOT)
I woke up that morning knowing the day was going to be a struggle. I took my extra meds and kept my fingers crossed. I dont know how many seizures I had before we went that morning but I was close to a big one before we left I know. Thankfully It didnt happen.
We arrived at fat club and i recognised alot of faces from facebook and people Id spoken to via Linda. It was Lovely and really friendly.
There was a display going on and I took a look.
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| 2lbs of fat ! |
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| jelly and cream (or a pint?) |
One of the ladys whom I talk to on facebook Pat gave me some harribo… Linda and I were going to try vodka harribo at some point but these ones were to eat too. I had some hoping the sugar would help.
everyone was lovely.
During the meeting I started to struggle – I had to result to oxygen but it was running out. We got home and I felt my head start to feel really bad. I took pills, my oxygen and headed to the sofa for a rest.
Jade was due to have her hair done at 2pm. I wanted to document her prom for her… I had 1 hour to rest and get rid of this headache. Well I did rest but the headache didnt go.
The next few hours were preperation for jades prom. I took so many photos just of her hair being done..
I then went and rested and I really dont know for how long…. when the pain and strange feelings get to this point time passes that is all. I think I slept a little but I dont know.
Jade came down… I was awake and she looked stunning. I grabbed all the energy I could and my cameras and started snapping. We went outside and took some beautiful pictures and then I was honoured to travel to the prom with her… I took more pictures too. I was struggling the whole way but I love taking photos and it was Jades big day and she was so pretty.
When we got home however I dropped the camera and tried to edit some pics. In the end I had to resort to bed but I never got there. I went into status epilepticus and dont remember much I remember waking uo between a couple of seizures and Linda holding my hand, she will never know how much that helped. It was weird cos normally I can hear alot more than i could this time… everything was too distant and too scrambled. I struggled as much as I could to get up and stop but the seizures kept coming. I was taken by ambulance to Grantham hospital and I woke up again in resus at Grantham General Hospital. I couldnt undersand the dr, and what I could understand he wasnt listening…. my case is quite complex and they never seemed to understand. There was one really nice nurse who helped. I had a few tests and they gave me some medication and i was told to sleep…. yeah right ok so i slept, and they would wake me up for blood pressure,.. so id sleep again and the bin would bang down so loud i ended up having another seizure. In the end once id recovered from that seizure I self discharged myself. we called linda and she came and got us. (THANK YOU SO MUCH).
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| in Grantham hospital |