Tag Archives: planning

Planning Ahead.

So a couple of posts ago I spoke about my wish not to be resuscitated if anything should happen to me in a seizure. Well the deed is done so to speak. I  have made my advanced directive and am working through making a will which also includes writing letters to people to read when i’m gone which to me seemed a bit weird but im doing it…. its hard and almost have no idea what to say… do i add jokes or do i make it all sombre? well if you know me you will no that yes i’ve added jokes!. 

Being that Im so young and the situation would be an emergency It would be very unlikely in an emergency situation that a paramedic would know what not to do. By contacting legal advice I have been given a card to cary… it looks like a credit card but says ive an advanced directive. The card came from the same people who are helping me make a will and finalise any other details with regards to what I would like to happen. For example my funeral. (oh what a happy blog this is ha ha)

It is difficult and emotional but its the right thing to do. I want to make my own decisions and i want to be prepared. I do not want to end up like a cabbage. 

I spoke with a friend the other day only briefly but enough to make me think i was definitely doing the right thing. It helped to say it out loud I guess… I explained that I didnt want to be in a useless body with a sound mind, or the other way round. I know that many people do not get the choice (those born with disabilities) however as my friend pointed out… They dont know any different. I will. I will know about the life that I could have had or I will know that its hard on the people who would have to look after me like my mum. I would know all these things and not be able to do anything about it. 
That is the difference and that is what I could not bare. Now see me as a coward if you will but Id rather not be resuscitated. 

Lots of people have said im brave. or its a brave decision. I dont think so. I think its the right decision, a difficult decision that has not been taken lightly. Yes ive had sleepless nights, ive had nightmares of what could happen and ive woken up and sat bolt upright thinking that i have to do this to stop my worst fear from coming true. I guess its scary but life is always scary but for different reasons for different people. 

Dont think im giving up on life though because im not. I will neaver willingly give up my fight. Every day i cherish, every minute of seizure free activity is a bonus and every minute off oxygen makes me feel free. 

Life is amazing but I must plan for the future.