Tag Archives: help

More Stress

Today is monday. I find out that when mum was shouting about how ill she had been sitting worrying about me yesterday whilst I was at the concert she was actually out visiting a friend and shopping!

Not much I can say about that is it…. however all that guilt i was feeling and being upset was for nothing!. Im pretty cross that she obviously lied – If there is something I do not do is lie to her… I cant lie i always end up laughing infront the person anyway or giving the game away but to lie to me about that so I would feel guilty about going out? thats not right. 
Well We agreed a truths yesterday so Im not going to say anything – inside though im saddened. 
The arguments are starting up about band tonight now… if its not one thing its another. I went to go down to my studio but then got told no… when questioned i got the well i will have to come down there ! this was not the idea… I have a buzzer system for down there so why is that suddenly not useful? basically I cant do anything unless she is watching – i am going mad.

Anyway I went to band and despite a struggle I managed it.
I will say im suffering for it a bit today but I have also been to the dentist today to have my “real” tooth put in rather than the temporary ! (remember a few blogs before my holiday when I smashed tooth during seizure). anyway nice new shinny tooth now in. it was a bit of a trauma though so no surprising my head aches.

I will leave you with this poem. 

A friend like me. 


Please don’t be afraid of me 
I want to be your friend.
and if you get to know me
your rigid thoughts might bend
Thoughts that i am different
from others that you know.
I really am no different 
and this id like to show. 
I live and breathe and laugh and cry 
i love to play and learn .
I sometimes do things differently 
which can cause some concern.
You see, some say I’m special, 
i guess this much is true
but if you were to ask me 
i’d say your special too.
We’re all  little different
no two are just the same. 
Its really something wonderful 
there is no one to blame
When things don’t go perfectly 
and people get confused
they say things like “poor girl”
and other terms they use. 
Its ok if you look at me
and may not understand.
Its ok if you touch me
and even hold my hand
My like has many obsticals
More than the epilepsy that you know
but thats not what i dwell on
Im me, thats all and so….
I know that things may not
always go to plan you see
Sometimes i may fall down 
but I’m not just the beast you see
Please don’t be afraid of me
or tell me not to do 
the things that make me feel normal
and make life worth living so…
Please learn to be accepting
i want you just to see
how truly great and wonderful 
a friend like me can be.

My Label


A medical bracelet or pendant is a little metal disc, that encloses information and labels the wearer. If you look  you will see i wear a pendant. I used to wear a bracelet but it got in the way alot and it was eassier for people to see, they used to stare and back away and so now i wear a pendant so i can hide it under my T-shirt if i feel the need. It’s not the “Allergic to Dihydrocodeine or Keppera and that causes the strange response, its the “epilepsey”.                  
When people see my label they usually say Oh you have somthing wrong with you dont you? And when they ask to see what it is all about and they see what it says they say “EWE you can swallow your toungue when you go off on one” or “you go crazy and stuff  with that don’t you?” . I really don’t know how to respond, because im not like some mad girl with a psyco disorder, and i’ts impossible to swallow your toungue, it’s just when you have a fit there is a possibility of you biting it, and yes that has happened but its nothing crazy. Sometimes if its a bad fit it continues for ages and i get hurt as i fall and bite my toungue and so there can be blood and so i supose thats what scares people but its not contagious. 
Once when i was away from my friends and family in a shopping centre and ended up in a major epileptic fit.The people around me didn’t know what was going on and understandably got scared. An ambulance was called and on arrival after regaining consciousness they told me i was having an epileptic fit. I told them that i know that as i’ve had epilepsy for years. After much confusion, they contacted my mum who explained what was going on. When i got home we decided it was time to get a medi-alert, in case that happened again while i was on the road again (que the song!!!).
I wear the pendant because it makes things easier in an emergency, not because i want to advertise that i’m different. It has helped me several times having the label, and it’s saved alot of confusion in times when i’m unable to explain myself.   Unfortunatly there are still alot of people around who don’t understand Epilepsy and are scared of me  when they find out. I just ask that i be treated the same as anyone else.
And if there is an inseance where i need help, don’t back away when you read my label.