There two things in life that scare. me… loosing those people who are precious to me… And the uncertainty of how/ when/ the beast is going to strike and the uncertainty of what will happen because of it.
It’s a fear i deal with daily and yet it never gets easier.
Today is friday. The day after tomorrow (sunday) I’m supoesto be in the race for life.. ok my whole world seems a race for life at the mo but this is special. Race for lfe raises money for those with cancer especially breast cancer. thousands of women all over the country come together and walk/run a 5K course and get sponsored for doing so. It’s a wonderful atmosphere and I’ve done it for 10 years. This year in my mind is no different…. the will i do it won’t i isn’t a option… i have to do it.
It’s a fear i deal with daily and yet it never gets easier.
Today is friday. The day after tomorrow (sunday) I’m supoesto be in the race for life.. ok my whole world seems a race for life at the mo but this is special. Race for lfe raises money for those with cancer especially breast cancer. thousands of women all over the country come together and walk/run a 5K course and get sponsored for doing so. It’s a wonderful atmosphere and I’ve done it for 10 years. This year in my mind is no different…. the will i do it won’t i isn’t a option… i have to do it.
Too many people have been taken away from me by this cruel disease for me not to fight back and this is how i do it. When i run the race i feel energy, adrenaline serge through my body… then I feel pain and the aches that go with running or walking that distance. yet this is all part of it. I look back of how my family have suffered with cancer… the struggles they went through. The struggle that i have been through and then i feel silence as i remember those who didn’t make it.
There are so so so many people who i could run for but i have 2. These 2 because they were the most inspirational people I know and have known. My nan has battled cancer twice. The first time she had a maceotcmy then came all the trauma after of drugs, appointments, uncertainty, fear and pain. She took it all in her stride never looking to what could happen. I really admire her for that. I couldn’t have braved it as well. Then 18 months ago nan was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma in her other breast. The chances in it happening were crazy but yet here we were back in the same routine. Being such a aggressive cancer an operation was no use, She went through months or radiotherapy and so far so good… but we are still having that fight. If there is something I’ve now learnt and thats it mostly is never over completely.
The other person I do the race for life for specifically is Suzie . She made such a impression on me in such a short time its hard to think of a world without her… but we have to. Suzie lost her fight with cancer and this will be the 2nd year i’ve raced for her. I met susie at band practice and although the band is friendly and i love it Suzie was always the one with the smily. She was the lightbulb in the room, the sunshine in the sky and the wind in the trees. She was the sort of person that she didn’t have to say a word to make a problem go away. She meant such a lot to so many people. Its wrong she was taken away but her pain and suffering is over and I race for life to help make a difference in what could happen in the future. A future with new drugs, new promises and a
place where cancer doesn’t win.
The last couple of weeks have been really tough. If felt like my body is no longer my own, but Sunday it will be. Sunday i must win.
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| Crossing the finishing line |
UPDATE
well i did manage the race for life… all be it with one hell of a struggle and a lot of oxygen on board! the last few days have been difficult as I’ve ached so much and i paid for the race with a seizure that night. At least i got through it and raised the money and thats what i wanted to do.
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| Mum and I in the local Paper |
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| Yay |
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| With our medals |