Halloween is one of my most favourite times of the year. I love the spookiness, the food and autumn nights and it gives us adults a chance to make up and dress up without getting funny looks ! Just the last couple of years Halloween has been fab in our town. There is a group of people who have got together and organise a Zombie craw and this year (the 2nd year) we are also having a zombie ball.
Tag Archives: friends
Back to band Practice.
Some of you may or may not know I use to be in two bands. I left one about 5 years ago however two years ago I also left my favourite band KCCB. I was never very confident after my repetitive hospital admissions sitting in the hall full of 50+ musicians, I was 4 flutes away from the end of the row and with music stands and instruments I worried about being able to get out of line if I felt a seizure coming on. My head was always aching, I was always tired and my joints ached and sitting playing music for that long was also hard. It seemed like I had no choice.
I still use to play music at home with my backing tracks but it wasn’t the same. I didn’t have the stanimer and it wasn’t the best when stopping half way through a tune to hook myself up to oxygen.
So as you can see in the blog life just continued and I got into craft and that was it. However My friend had been coming over and saying about going to the band and about me going back. This was a good friend who had been with me all through the crap and visited me in hospital. He played music too and very often he would bring his sax or trumpet over and we’d play along to the backing tracks… (we still do). One day on september 3rd 2012 it was decided and I was going to go back to band.
I was so nervous and scared.. what if i had a seizure? what if i knocked everything flying or drop my flute? well ok i did drop my flute but it survived!
The seizures were still not controlled and I was having absences throughout every day as i still am and the big seizures were still unpredictable however I had thought about going back a lot and came to the conclusion that i could not let epilepsy take away everything I loved.
I had had to stop my work/job/career which i loved and couldn’t drive and so many other things that I had been stopped doing because of the beast.. It was NOT going to take my music away too.
So Mark picked me up and we went to band.
I took my flute but only played for half as I went and sat at the back cos blowing was making me dizzy but over all the eve was fab. I had forgotten that buzz of sitting on the front row and the sudden rawwww of instruments coming behind. It made me jump ! It surprised me how relaxed I was when playing music. It was the best drug id taken in years! (music to musicians is a drug… its addictive too).
Music made me happy. Music still makes me happy. I enjoyed that night and from then on I have been back to band almost every week. I do still panic if the chairs are arranged a bit tightly and I cant see a easy way out if i need to. Only at the last gig I had to make sure I had a quick exit just in case.. I am now 3rd in line and playing first flute with two wonderful ladies. It helps to be playing the same part as them as I still cant see out my left eye and so depending how we’re sitting that night or that concert sometimes i cant actually see the conductor very well but i can see glints of the other players flute move up and down, which tells me where we are as ive pretty much learnt how each player holds their flute. It sounds bonkers but I know what i mean and it works.
I was a bit upset one week at band when Id been playing first flute and two of the pieces i got given back were 2nd. Well normally I wouldn’t moan but as I cant see very well I work of memory quite alot and that close to a concert I was a bit grr as to why anyway. the problem was sorted and i got my pieces of music back. I also like playing the same as like i said above… its like having a backup conductor ha ha.
Anyway this is going well for me I love being back at band and I am enjoying seeing everybody again. Its not only the music but the friends, the conversation it makes life better. The music is hypnotising and makes me forget about all my troubles and just enjoy the music and the moment. Yes Ive had a couple of blips but ive not knocked any stands over yet.
I often loose my place in my music due to an absence seizure – and one of these caused me to drop my flute but it survived and I either find my place in the music or by the time ive come out and woken up so to speak the music has finished but it is still the best thing i done. I Love Monday nights and band and the whole atmosphere. It means I have something to look forward to every week and i love it.
Music is amazing and has given me back a piece of me !
you can view Kent Coastal Concert Band on my youtube channel at
Finding my feet unexpectedly
New life but same hospital
Neighbours and Corgies?
Splitting & Moving
On 28th August we were due to move. I wasnt going to be moving with mum and dad but overall I’m glad I did. Since moving I met new people, friends and had good times I would never have done if I hadnt moved.
Moving day was difficult for me despite this. Not knowing that good things would come of it I was moving to somewhere I knew little about and didn’t want to be.
I had made friends where I was, I’d grown up partly where I was and I felt comfortable. My house was lovely and I like it I was not keen on changing to somewhere else that was not homely yet. I’d moved from home to be with gavin and now I was packing boxes ready to go again.
Now I’m a Kind of person that would think nothing of going backpacking if my health was different so at the same time moving and packing boxes was an adventure that I also used to de-clutter and clear out. I threw out loads though my Disney collection stayed.
Moving day was difficult. I was not feeling great and I had already had a seizure that morning. Yet as I la on the last remaining piece of furniture I watched the removal men carry out our belongings and bundle them into a white lorry. I moved and the last piece went. As I sat on the floor looking around I was engulfed by sadness, I was overwhelmed as I remembered the happy times I’d spent in this house,
Old House |
New House |
School & the boffin
I loved school. there was no other word for it. I would stay to clubs, do extra homework. I was in science club, tennis club, languages club and history club. Whatever knowledge that school had i couldn’t wait to soak it up. The science teacher brought in work from the years above so i could do it when i finished our programmed work. My homework was pages instead of paragraphs and i even got told by the history teacher that it wasn’t necessary…. yet my only reply was i know but i enjoy it! so i was the class Boffin and i didn’t care.
For the first time in my school life I was able to enjoy school and catch up on learning which I found i loved as i didn’t miss a single day of school due to seizures.
My attendance was 100% for year 7,8 and 9 and my merits were always rewarded at the presentation evening. Life was fab as far as me went.
Family was difficult at times. My father and I never have got on since well… ever to be honest. There are many stories I could tell about my younger years and the “jealousy” “childish” behaviour my father showed towards me however to a certain extent I do have to edit the “family” part of the blog… because It is family stuff. Maybe one day i’ll be brave enough to fill in the gaps! for now I will say this… things were difficult at times. One story I can tell because, well, it was pretty public for me at the time was My prize presentation in year 8. I had just been awarded with 100% attendance, merit certificate, a science award and the history cup prize. I wanted to go back to one of the other halls where all my friends were with their parents and chat like you do. I went back while mum and dad were working their way there through another door. I didn’t know at the time but my dad had already had some “drink” and he and mum were having a bit of words for some reason that i still dont know. Consequently by the time we all met up in the other hall and there was wine and juice available there too my father ended up having a huge row at myself and mum which included drink and a few other matters. there I was in the middle of the hall making my way back across from talking to my friend and getting a juice drink when i could feel everybody watching my family un-fold in front of my very eyes! its not something I wanted to repeat. Therefore on future prize evenings of which there were 3 I didn’t let dad be present to them, and if there is anything that I want to go really well up to this day I use the same method of him not being present. Its really sad and I do feel I am missing out when I see other girls with their fathers of whom they are proud of and visa vera but that is life. My mum is more than enough to make up for the lack of father figure!
XXX