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USA and the downward spiral

I was welcomed to America by brilliant sunshine, palm trees and the swamps of the Florida Everglades as we landed. When we got off the plane the Tarmac was hot to the feet and radiated up the body. It’s the first time I’d felt foreign sunshine.

The plane ride was surprisingly quick…. Fair enough I slept most of it all but the meal and half a inflight movie and a little sightseeing on the little screen and out the windows. I watched as we made our way down from 33 thousand feet and then waited to get off the plane. It was all push and shove an my muscles were aching… probably something to do with the seizure I had 2 hours into the journey. Anyway i was happy. I was in america ! 
When we got though the scary process of photographs and finger prints then getting our luggage we got a taxi to the pop centuary complex. It was basic in facilities but huge and it was Disney so even basic was 5 star to me! I was in my element of the wildest dreams i’d had yet I was tired. I longed for a sleep and then be ready for the next day… Gav had other plans. We went to the hotel to book in and dump our bags…. the bed looked so inviting yet we were out as quick as it took me to look around the one bedroom en-suite room.  Gav took me to the Magick kingdom… You see a ride he wanted to go on was going to be closing that night,, tonight was the only time to ride it while we were in America.
We got there and I was amazed at how big everything was compared to Disneyland Paris. Yet everything still the Disney way, perfection at every glance, not a blade of grass out of place. the music and happiness of everyone filled the air and a glance at the castle made my knees shake, i was here, i was in Disney i was happy!
We rushed to space mountain and Gavin stopped…. The ride looked dark and the adjoining gift shop looked quiet. the ride was shut. On talking to staff it had closed 3 days prior due to a technical fult that made it unsafe. With this news Gavin was not defeated and started leading me into rides. Reluctantly yet still happy and buzzing from being in disney, being in america and being thousands of miles away from home I went….. I was enjoying every minute yet had in my thought that I knew it wasn’t right and I needed to stop, anyway we went on a couple of rides then went onto buzz light years lazer blast. This was a toy story ride where you shoot the aliens with lasers,  It was also a big mistake. 1/4 of the way into the ride I saw all the lights blur and go into bold block colours with a angel like rim around them. The next think I knew I was back stage! Although back stage of disney may sound great it’s not the way that I wanted to see it. Id already made plans of how i would one day see disney back stage by being a reporter for the disney blog or being a cast member for a year…. this was not in my plans.  

Disney back stage is just as a wow factor and disneyfied as the rest of Disney, there is cast land and costume land! I’m not joking it’s amazing. I just wish I saw more of where I was… I drifted off and woke up in our hotel room. 
The rest of the holiday was great. I went on rides, saw characters and i was with the love of my life. yet some things just felt wrong, but i didn’t know how. I put it down to being home sick… although i had travelled without mum before this was the furthest i’d been. I’d backpacked around france, belgium and been to amsterdam yet this seemed more scary! yet I was protected in a disney bubble.
In america disney is like a little country. It has its own  free police force, ambulance service, medical centres, life guards, fire department and a whole host of other normal paying services. if you had the money disney also offers hair dressers, laundrettes, spas, nail parlours, insurance, andd shopping all in its resort. These are all very pricey but if you were a millionaire and loved disney as much as i do America disney is the place to spend your millions.

The only thing I didn’t like was the water parks they were too scary for me… I was quite happy floating round the perimeter on the rubber rings though.,. I did enjoy the bit where you put on a life jacket and let the current take you round the outskirts of the park like your white water swimming. That was fun! but the fast wirling speed down a ramp on a water thing rides are not me. the thought of being up that high and needed to get down and the only option being a water flume scared the pants off me… it did happen once and i went down the flume which made my mind up that never again would i submit myself to the experience !

I really love Disney. I had not been on many roller coasters in my life and id never visited a theme park other than margate dreamland and disney for a day however I’d fallen in love with rock and roller coaster staring aerosmith. While I was at Disney I promised myself I would do everything….but especially go on r&r! i did.  And I did do a lot more ! I’m so proud as I even went on tower of terror which is a elevator that goes up and drops you from the 13th floor…. Now that’s fine but I had a fear of normal elevators so this was crazy for me to even think of going on it… Yet I did!


I went on all the rides had to offer.. Some were ok others I had to go round again! But I struggled through. I saw backstage of rock and roller coaster after watching the 3,2,1 light sign while in the cue and then having a seizure but I kept on going. How I dont know.

We split our holiday with a week and a half at Disney and a week at the royal pacific hotel next to universal studios. I was so so tired at the end of the holiday.. I wasn’t Eating much as It was so hot and I don’t do well in English heat let alone this new american heat. The heat here was severe, the mid day sun hovered over your head and your shaddow disappeared from 11am till 3pm. The combination of not eating, lots and lots of walking, and the seizures meant I lost 3 stone in 2 weeks. I knew i was feeling weak but i didn’t realise it was so bad but when I got home it shocked people. especially mum. I was skin and bone. I found things hard when I got home… I was weak, tired, still having seizures and still not able to eat much. I couldn’t get an appointment with my dr for a week so I went back to work and continued studying. I didn’t want to loose my dream of being a nurse.

My studying finished and my portfolio handed in I was working full time on the ward loving every second of patient care, i was learning something new everyday and had applied for 4 jobs with a promise of a placement in the radiology theatres, the other applications were just a process you went through, the radiology position was my dream and i couldn’t believe i was going straight into it. I continued to work hard. I was finding it difficult and I wasn’t strong enough, and I knew it yet I struggled and struggled not letting it show.
One night I finished work, I knew I needed to go home…. Gavin was working a all night shift so we met and had coffee then i went home with mum. She picked me up and I got home in my bed and slept.
I had a bad night as far as seizures went and the next day was so bad mum had to phone In sick to my work. I was basically out of it. Throughout the day I had 15 -20 seizures though i was recovering in between and slept. by 9 o’clock when Gavin came over  i was getting worse when i had had 4 seizures in a row without recovery he phoned straight through to margate hospital and then put me in the car and took me to margate A & E. Life was about to change.